B is the second letter!

F: We learned "A" today. Apple tree, Alligator...
L: Where's his Kindergarten Alphabet book
Me: Wait, what's that? Which book?
L: It's the book that teaches kindergartners to read
Me: It's only his third day, could we maybe give him a while to settle in?
L: "B" is the second letter! I want him to get ahead of the class on this!

I did not realize elementary school was so intense... or that L was so invested in F's education

No Outlets!!!

I've been trying to experiment more with my cooking  Which means trying all kinds of new things, including appliances.  I read a tip online that said to try grinding spices and freeze-dried fruits in a coffee grinder to be more effective.  Unfortunately my house is old and limiting in working outlets and the coffee grinder I purchased only has about an 18 inch cord.  So I get the bright idea to grind my raspberries in the dining room. My 8 year old is intrigued by the sight of me sitting on the dining room floor making ALL the noise.

L: What are you doing?
Me: Grinding raspberries to make a surprise for daddy.
L: But why are you doing it in here?
Me: It's the only electrical outlet I could reach with this teeny cord.
L: No Mom! You can't use outlets in our neighborhood!
Me: Say what now? What are you talking about?
L: The sign... When you turn into our neighborhood... It's yellow and says NO OUTLETS! You can't use that here!

This led to a great discussion about what traffic signs are and their meanings, as well as what an electrical outlet is, while still being one of my favorite convos ever with my super literal kid.

Feminism isn't just for little girls

There is a trend out there right now that drives me up the wall.  It seems like every time I get on Facebook there is a new article going viral about providing good body image for our daughters.  About how to talk about ourselves, about how to be proper role models for them.  Whenever I see these articles out there it just feels like a new version of the same old sexism.  Be better female role models for your girls, use empowering language, raise them with healthy body image, but boys will be boys? So as women we need to be doing better for the girls, but it doesn't matter how our sons see us?

While I do think setting a healthy example for our daughters is important.  And that showing a healthy body image to young girls is important. I don't understand why we leave our young boys out of this key audience.  Why are we just focusing on the language we use in front of our girls?  Who is teaching the boys that women can be healthy and strong and smart?  It seems like there is so much focus on how to be a strong female role model for our girls that nobody is focusing on doing better for our boys.

I am the mother of 2 boys.  I am the first example they have of what a woman is and what their first expectation of what a woman should be.  The way I talk about myself and other women is the way they will feel it is acceptable to talk about other women.  How my husband talks about me and other women is what they will think is acceptable.  How my husband and I treat each other is their first example of how a relationship should be.  So why isn't there more focus on respecting ourselves and each other in front of our boys?  I've never been more proud than the day someone asked L if he wanted to grow up big and strong like his daddy and he replied, "No! I want to be big and strong like my mom!" In that moment, I felt like I was doing something right. 

My son sees my stretch marks. He sees the cellulite I can't shake since I had him.  He's also seen me finish 12 mile races. He sees me helping him with his homework, organizing book clubs, taking care of our family, showing kindness to others, laughing, fixing his ouches, and loving on our little family. To him, I am a super hero.  I choose my words to promote how healthy and strong I am and how healthy and strong he will grow to be. 

Every woman person I know is self conscious about something.  We all had the mean girl in high school who didn't like our hair, or our clothes, or just the way we looked in general.  I'm trying to raise my boys to be better than my insecurities. I hope they grow up with a healthy respect for all people.  That they never feel it's ok to body shame someone else or feel the need to stay in an unhealthy relationship.

There are so many articles out there talking about rape culture and holding men accountable for their actions.  But then there are all these articles focusing on being better in front of our daughters... just the daughters.  If we want our sons to do better, we have to teach them to know better.

This is such a huge topic from body image, to rape culture, to challenging gender norms, to healthy relationships, to respecting yourself as well as others, etc.  There are so many different facets that these articles barely scrape the surface on that there just isn't room to comment on all of them in one post.  This was hopefully just some food for thought the next time you read an article focused on being better for our daughters. Kudos to everyone out there trying to be a better role model for all the little girls, please just keep in mind that little boys are paying attention too.

I want to be a dentist

I recently took my 5 year old for his 6 month dental check up.  This is the first time he's done really great.  Stayed calm, let them polish and floss, and let the dentist "count" his teeth.  After the hygienist was done she told him the dentist would be right in.

L: So is Dr. S a boy or a girl?
Hygienist: He's a boy.
L: Oh...
...
L: But you have a vagina?

That's right folks.  At the dentist office my son decided to start asking people about their genitalia.  He must have found all the answers satisfactory though. Because as soon as we got back into the car he informed me that when he grows up he wants to be the dentist.

Bra or Pantry?

Finn keeps shoving his granola bar and snacks down my shirt.  I'm pretty sure he thinks my bra is his own personal pantry.  Looks like it's time to take weaning up a notch...

Landon Quick #1

I often find the things I want to share are just small convos with the kids or little random details, but they don't seem long enough for a blog post.  So I thought I'd just start putting the little things that happen up as well as all the crazy.

Me: You've gotta finish your dinner baby.
L: Why?
Me: Because you just finished gymnastics and you need to eat for energy.  So you can grow big and strong
L: Oh! So I grow big???
Me: Yup.  You want to be tall like Papa right?
L: Yup! I grow big big big! And then you'll be the shortest one?
Me: What?
L: And then you'll be the shortest one.
S: Yea... I mean... I guess when you guys are all grown up you'll be taller than daddy and then... I'll be the shortest one...
Then he proceeded to gently pat me on the back and give me a hug.

It's like he knows I make short jokes... and then he freaking consoled me!

Talk about Karma!

I super love you...

There are a lot of moments in motherhood where you can't help but to think: why did I do this?  I love my kids and I love my family, but anyone who says it can't be overwhelming is lying.  The thing that gets you through those moments (and there's a lot of them) are the small sweet ones that outsiders just don't get to see.  A lot of my life is spent treading emotional water.  Just thought I'd share one of the sweet life rafts that pulls me back to sanity.

Last night my oldest was having trouble sleeping.  And by trouble sleeping, I mean he was upstairs talking to himself for an hour and then came downstairs to ask me to tuck him back in so he could postpone bed time just a little longer.  It's very rare that L and I have a few minutes to ourselves.  So instead of just tucking him in and turning out the light, I decided to crawl in and snuggle for a minute.  Out of no where he starts stroking my eye brows.

L: What those?
Me: These? They're called eyebrows.  You have them too.

I take his finger and trace his eyebrows and then mine again.

L: Eyebrows?
M: Yup.
(Starts stroking my eye brows again)
L: They're beautiful... *long pause*
L: Can you take them off?

After explaining that eyebrows are hair like the kind on his head and they don't come off, he decides to start counting fingers and toes.  Which leads to him listing off body parts.

L: Toes, foot, leg... you have bird on your leg?
M: Yea.  It's called a tattoo.  Can you say that?
L: Taaatt-tttoooo.
M: Yup.  A tattoo is a drawing. Mommy has a drawing of a bird on her leg.
L: oh... That's not so good... That super bad.... drawing on your leg.

I giggle to myself and stroke his hair.  I wonder how many times he drew on himself at school before the teacher convinced him he's not supposed to do that.  But now it's getting late and I'm ready to tuck him in.  As I go to get up I hear.

L: I super proud of you.  I super love you.

That's the moment I know I'm doing something right.  These are the moments I hold onto when his teething baby brother woke me up 2 hours later.  That's what I think about when I see him getting frustrated through out the day.  That's my sweet boy.  And I super love him too.