Feminism isn't just for little girls

There is a trend out there right now that drives me up the wall.  It seems like every time I get on Facebook there is a new article going viral about providing good body image for our daughters.  About how to talk about ourselves, about how to be proper role models for them.  Whenever I see these articles out there it just feels like a new version of the same old sexism.  Be better female role models for your girls, use empowering language, raise them with healthy body image, but boys will be boys? So as women we need to be doing better for the girls, but it doesn't matter how our sons see us?

While I do think setting a healthy example for our daughters is important.  And that showing a healthy body image to young girls is important. I don't understand why we leave our young boys out of this key audience.  Why are we just focusing on the language we use in front of our girls?  Who is teaching the boys that women can be healthy and strong and smart?  It seems like there is so much focus on how to be a strong female role model for our girls that nobody is focusing on doing better for our boys.

I am the mother of 2 boys.  I am the first example they have of what a woman is and what their first expectation of what a woman should be.  The way I talk about myself and other women is the way they will feel it is acceptable to talk about other women.  How my husband talks about me and other women is what they will think is acceptable.  How my husband and I treat each other is their first example of how a relationship should be.  So why isn't there more focus on respecting ourselves and each other in front of our boys?  I've never been more proud than the day someone asked L if he wanted to grow up big and strong like his daddy and he replied, "No! I want to be big and strong like my mom!" In that moment, I felt like I was doing something right. 

My son sees my stretch marks. He sees the cellulite I can't shake since I had him.  He's also seen me finish 12 mile races. He sees me helping him with his homework, organizing book clubs, taking care of our family, showing kindness to others, laughing, fixing his ouches, and loving on our little family. To him, I am a super hero.  I choose my words to promote how healthy and strong I am and how healthy and strong he will grow to be. 

Every woman person I know is self conscious about something.  We all had the mean girl in high school who didn't like our hair, or our clothes, or just the way we looked in general.  I'm trying to raise my boys to be better than my insecurities. I hope they grow up with a healthy respect for all people.  That they never feel it's ok to body shame someone else or feel the need to stay in an unhealthy relationship.

There are so many articles out there talking about rape culture and holding men accountable for their actions.  But then there are all these articles focusing on being better in front of our daughters... just the daughters.  If we want our sons to do better, we have to teach them to know better.

This is such a huge topic from body image, to rape culture, to challenging gender norms, to healthy relationships, to respecting yourself as well as others, etc.  There are so many different facets that these articles barely scrape the surface on that there just isn't room to comment on all of them in one post.  This was hopefully just some food for thought the next time you read an article focused on being better for our daughters. Kudos to everyone out there trying to be a better role model for all the little girls, please just keep in mind that little boys are paying attention too.

I want to be a dentist

I recently took my 5 year old for his 6 month dental check up.  This is the first time he's done really great.  Stayed calm, let them polish and floss, and let the dentist "count" his teeth.  After the hygienist was done she told him the dentist would be right in.

L: So is Dr. S a boy or a girl?
Hygienist: He's a boy.
L: Oh...
...
L: But you have a vagina?

That's right folks.  At the dentist office my son decided to start asking people about their genitalia.  He must have found all the answers satisfactory though. Because as soon as we got back into the car he informed me that when he grows up he wants to be the dentist.