So I make my way to the bathrooms, leave my cart outside the door and load up infant and diaper bag. I manage to get the button undone, wiggle around until the zipper is low enough and shimmy my pants to my knees one handed. When I finally get to sit and pee it looks something like this.
Oh the joys of shopping with a baby without another adult. After I'm done I manage to get myself put back together. For whatever reason putting my clothes on is so much harder than taking them off. And then it's on to the next obstacle. Hand washing! Now this seems like the easiest part. Balance baby on one hip, secure with arm. Wet, lather, scrub, rinse and dry. Now add on a leaky faucet that sprays the water directly at your crotch instead of into the sink and you would have my morning. Standing in the Target bathroom, having just peed, balancing a baby on one hip and having the sink soak your crotch as you are getting ready to go back to your 3 year old's Christmas program at school... with all the other parents (Luckily one of them is kind enough to pull you aside when you arrive to tell you your zipper is in fact still down before you manage to walk into the crowded room. Ignore the fact that you walked around Target for another 30 minutes like this. It will NOT make you feel better to dwell on that.)
As for the for the Christmas pageant, I'm sure you're wondering how it went. This is my kid:
That's right! He started crying before it even started!
Luckily for me these boys are pretty cute. It totally makes the whole peeing in Target/wet pants/zipper down/crying Christmas pageant worth it... right?
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